From Wit's End To An Epiphany (the attack)

It was Thursday, July 28th, 2005. I was trying to work. Cruella harassed me by phone all day with more of her wild accusations of lying, cheating, hiding money and killing people. She's convinced that I ran somebody over and killed them... She called me at 4:30 in the afternoon telling me to pick-up Princess at day care because she had a headache and couldn't drive. I explained that I was a half an hour away and still had two more appointments in the same town. She said, "Well... I just took a pill and I'm not driving... so you need to pick up your fucking daughter." I called my customers and (lied) explained that I was running late and I went to pick up Princess and brought her home. Cruella was in the bedroom and the kids were in the family room watching tv. I asked how everybody was and they all seemed to be fine. I told them I had to run out to do two quick estimates... Sam asked to come with me and the girls wanted to stay home. I asked Lilly to keep an eye on Princess since Cruella was in the bedroom with a headache again.

As soon as we left... Cruella started calling with her threats and accusations again... I let them go to voice mail but checked them just to make sure the kids were ok. I finished my estimates and went back home to find the a town police car the driveway, the dog loose in the front yard with the girls chasing her around, Cruella on the front porch in a robe with a towel on her head, obviously intoxicated and heard her asking the cop if he could catch the dog. I asked what was going on and the officer told me, Well, apparently someone dialed 911 by mistake." He wasn't happy, made his report and he left. Sam and I were attempting to catch the dog when Cruella started tearing my truck apart, searching for "God knows what" again. Princess was in the back seat of my truck and Cruella was on the passenger side searching through the door pocket.

I was reaching in through the driver side door to get Princess out when Cruella attacked me from behind and began kicking my legs and punching my back. Then she pinched the back of my right arm and twisted. As I jerked around, she lost her balance, stumbled back about 4 or 5 steps and fell flat on her back in the middle of the front lawn like she was making a fuckin' snow angel and screaming bloody blue murder that I just broke her ankle. I scooped her ass up off the lawn, carried her into the house and dumped her on the couch. I told her we were leaving and told the kids to get in my truck. Sam and Daisey immediately went out to the truck... Lilly was in the living room crying, "mom, why are you doing this?" and Princess was in the kitchen... pretty much oblivious to the chaos that was going on and looking for something to eat.

When I went into the kitchen to get Princess, Cruella got off the couch and limped to the back deck crackin' another Heineken on her way and mumbling about how she should just kill herself. As I bent over to pick up Princess, Cruella came running back into the kitchen screaming, "your not taking her anywhere" and bit my ear as I was standing back up with Princess in my arms. I just kept moving towards the front door. Luckily... she let go of my ear or I swear... she would have been left standing there with it hangin' out of her mouth.

To Be Continued...

Signed, Regular Guy

And The Award Goes To...

Holy Crap... I can't believe it... It's me... lol

So what the hell am I talking about you ask... Well... my friend... loyal reader... and fellow blogger Kat has presented me with The Arte y Pico Award. Thanks kat :-)

And here's the specifics...

1)You have to pick 5 blogs that you consider deserve this award for their creativity, design, interesting material, and also for contributing to the blogging community, no matter what language

2)Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.

3)Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.

4)Award-winner and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of "Arte y Pico" blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award. http://arteypico.blogspot.com/.

This wasn't an easy choice but my nominees are...

pentad

regina

mister m

samsara

kebelle

Signed, Regular Guy

Wordless (Nice Feet!) Wednesday

Signed, Regular Guy

Happy Fathers Day

“From Wits End to an Epiphany” will return after this special friggin’ Fathers Day installment.

It was Fathers Day, 2005; the last one before Cruella and I split up and just like every year before, I had plans to play golf with my father and my brother. It’s sort of a Fathers Day tradition for us and this particular year was the first year that my son Sam was coming with us. I had bought him a special set of junior clubs and he was very excited to be going with us. We always meet early in the morning… have breakfast… play nine holes and we’re usually done before lunch.

Sam and I woke up early and got ourselves ready to go while everyone else in the house was sleeping. Just as we were leaving, Cruella awoke and began screaming at the two of us, starting with the fact that we were leaving without saying goodbye, moving on to bitching at Sam for not wearing a golf shirt or a golf hat and then at me for actually allowing a nine year old to go out to play golf without the proper attire. She belittled the both of us so badly that Sam was on the verge of tears, as she tells me how I don’t give a shit about her or my daughters and we shouldn’t even be going anyway.

Needless to say we wound up late for meeting with my father and brother and Sam and I were both a little rattled to say the least. We all made the best of it, tried not to talk about “fuck-nuts” and actually had a pretty good time; but of course when we got back home, the shit started all over again.

Cruella was already half in the bag by lunchtime when we arrived. She was out on the back deck with the three girls and the Robins’. Leo & Annie Robins and their two children had been staying with us after their house burnt down, while they were waiting for their new house to be built. (That’s a whole different story)

So… Cruella immediately starts with her shit about how the girls were crushed and insulted that they couldn’t go with us… some more about how I just don’t give a shit about any body but myself and that the least that I could do would be to take everybody out for a nice Fathers Day dinner. So what does asshole me do ?... Yup… you got it… out to fuckin’ dinner we go.

When we arrived at the restaurant, the fiasco began. There were ten of us all together and as far as Cruella was concerned, nobody sat in the right spot and she had to make everybody crazy, including the wait-staff by pushing tables around and playing musical fucking chairs. After that was all said and done, then she wants to know what everybody wants to eat, including Leo, Annie and their kids so that she can order for everyone. When the waitress comes to take our order… it’s an absolute disaster just waiting to happen. For starters, she was very young, obviously new, right off the boat, barely spoke a lick of English and I’m quite sure had never run into anybody even remotely resembling the likes of Cruella before.

Well… just ordering probably took a half an hour, so in an attempt to make a long ass story just a little bit shorter, we’ll just skip to the last order which was Annie’s. Annie wanted the chicken marsala and wanted it over pasta. Cruella insisted “that’s how it comes, I get it all the time.” But… the waitress kept asking what kind of pasta she wanted on the side, while Cruella kept insisting that the pasta doesn’t come on the side even though it clearly states on the menu that it does.. Finally I couldn’t take it anymore and stood up, pulled the waitress aside and simply said, “ Can you please put the chicken on top of linguini with no side of pasta.” “Yes, I can do that.” She replied.

Well… Cruella fuckin’ flipped, screaming like a lunatic in the middle of a crowded restaurant where everybody was already looking at us … “You just have to prove me fucking wrong all the fucking time! I fucking hate you!” and she stormed out and never came back. So… we ate without her. She was sitting outside in my truck when we all came out after dinner. We all got in (yes, I have a very big truck) and she actually didn’t say a word. On the way home I stopped at the mini-mart to pick up a few things. Leo followed me inside and while we were at the counter he patted me on the back and said, “You’re a good man. I don’t know how you do it.”

As we walked out of the store and towards the truck, Cruella jumps out screaming “I heard you talking about me! Fuck all of you!” and she starts walking towards the local bar. Now up until that point, normally I would have went after her, knowing that she would probably get herself hurt or in trouble or worse, but I was done. We got in the truck and left her ass there. Of course the kids didn’t really get what the fuck was going on but they were actually starting to become sort of immune to her madness like it was normal.

So we all went home… I got the kids ready for bed and sat up talking with Leo and Annie for quite a while. As the hours went by I was getting both more pissed and more worried both at the same time… I mean after all… I didn’t want her to wind up beat up or raped or killed did I… so what the fuck was I supposed to do. It was now almost 1am and I was starting to think that maybe I should go try to find her stupid ass when headlights started coming up my driveway.

Well… I was just about ready to kill anything that moved, so as the headlights got the top of the driveway to turn around to come back down… I went out the front door and straight into the middle of the driveway so that whoever it was that came up… wasn’t getting down without going through me and trust me when I tell you… at the point I was at… it could’ve been the incredible fuckin’ hulk and he was catchin’ a beatin’. I was walking straight at the car, chest puffed up, jaw clenched, fists clenched and eyes blazin’ but was blinded by the lights so that I couldn’t even tell what kind of car it was never mind who was in it, when all of a sudden I hear a familiar female voice (not Cruella’s) yelling out the window …”RG…it’s me… RG… it’s me, Liza.

I can’t even really describe the feeling that came over me… It was like I was deflated… I had been holding in so much rage for so long that I think I was almost hoping that it was going to be some strange guy that I could just beat to a bloody pulp, but it wasn’t… it was Liza… a friend who Cruella had called for a ride home. I just turned back around and went inside. I layed down on the couch in the living room… I slept there a lot… a few minutes later Cruella stumbled in… walked right by me… didn’t say a word and locked herself in the bedroom.

Happy Fuckin’ Fathers Day

Signed, Regular Guy