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Wednesday, June 25, 2008

From Wit's End To An Epiphany (the attack)

It was Thursday, July 28th, 2005. I was trying to work. Cruella harassed me by phone all day with more of her wild accusations of lying, cheating, hiding money and killing people. She's convinced that I ran somebody over and killed them... She called me at 4:30 in the afternoon telling me to pick-up Princess at day care because she had a headache and couldn't drive. I explained that I was a half an hour away and still had two more appointments in the same town. She said, "Well... I just took a pill and I'm not driving... so you need to pick up your fucking daughter." I called my customers and (lied) explained that I was running late and I went to pick up Princess and brought her home. Cruella was in the bedroom and the kids were in the family room watching tv. I asked how everybody was and they all seemed to be fine. I told them I had to run out to do two quick estimates... Sam asked to come with me and the girls wanted to stay home. I asked Lilly to keep an eye on Princess since Cruella was in the bedroom with a headache again.

As soon as we left... Cruella started calling with her threats and accusations again... I let them go to voice mail but checked them just to make sure the kids were ok. I finished my estimates and went back home to find the a town police car the driveway, the dog loose in the front yard with the girls chasing her around, Cruella on the front porch in a robe with a towel on her head, obviously intoxicated and heard her asking the cop if he could catch the dog. I asked what was going on and the officer told me, Well, apparently someone dialed 911 by mistake." He wasn't happy, made his report and he left. Sam and I were attempting to catch the dog when Cruella started tearing my truck apart, searching for "God knows what" again. Princess was in the back seat of my truck and Cruella was on the passenger side searching through the door pocket.

I was reaching in through the driver side door to get Princess out when Cruella attacked me from behind and began kicking my legs and punching my back. Then she pinched the back of my right arm and twisted. As I jerked around, she lost her balance, stumbled back about 4 or 5 steps and fell flat on her back in the middle of the front lawn like she was making a fuckin' snow angel and screaming bloody blue murder that I just broke her ankle. I scooped her ass up off the lawn, carried her into the house and dumped her on the couch. I told her we were leaving and told the kids to get in my truck. Sam and Daisey immediately went out to the truck... Lilly was in the living room crying, "mom, why are you doing this?" and Princess was in the kitchen... pretty much oblivious to the chaos that was going on and looking for something to eat.

When I went into the kitchen to get Princess, Cruella got off the couch and limped to the back deck crackin' another Heineken on her way and mumbling about how she should just kill herself. As I bent over to pick up Princess, Cruella came running back into the kitchen screaming, "your not taking her anywhere" and bit my ear as I was standing back up with Princess in my arms. I just kept moving towards the front door. Luckily... she let go of my ear or I swear... she would have been left standing there with it hangin' out of her mouth.

To Be Continued...

Signed, Regular Guy


  1. Oh you did not just do that...leaving me unsatisfied again lol .....good god you are like the writers in hollywood leave me wanting more

  2. hey kat... you can't be that unsatisfied if your still comin' back for more... lol

  3. Hey there, I'm the anonymous guy who left a message on your father's day blog just a couple days ago who has a wife similar to yours. Have to agree with kat, get on with the story man! LOL I have to know what I'm in for one of these days. I swear just the other day I was looking at the fireplace poker tool and thinking, "I should probably put that away somewhere". We're in a lull right now, she stays up all night watching TV, binge eating junk food, then sleeps all day. Her doc told her she needed to be back in therapy again, but she hasn't made any effort to get that going. And seeing your father's day writing, it was father's day of '07 when my wife had her last major meltdown and ended up hospitalized. Looking forward to the next entry (please hurry!! LOL). Oh, and you can call me...."Bullet".

  4. Hey Bullet... good to see ya back my brotha' from anotha' mutha'... lol

    Yeah I know exactly where you want to put that fireplace poker... ;-)

    I'm gonna try and get through the rest of this one with no more interruptions... I promise :-D

    Oh and instead of choosing anonymous as your identity when you comment... you can choose name/url and type in bullet... don't worry about the url... you can leave it blank

  5. Regular Guy, wow, what drama. Cruella was really drunk out of her mind. I bet it took all the strenght you had not to knock her out. Can’t wait to see how it ends, reads like a soap opera.

  6. Hey natural... Yeah... self control is just too tame a description ;-)

    Maybe I should rename the blog... "As The World Turns In The Days Of Our Lives While Heading For The General Hospital"... lol

  7. O.M.G.

    You have GOT to be kidding.

    Sadly, though... I know you're not.

    I just scrolled down and read your Father's Day post as well.

    How the H*LL do you put up with it?

    All I know is... you are a wonderful father, a good person... and I can already tell you love your children - VERY much.

    We could do with more "regular" men like you. :)

    P.S. On Cruella's diagnosis post - looks like they got mixed up on # of kids. But her doctor? Because she lied?

    Wasn't that just an obvious point of her need for treatment? :(

  8. Hey Dette... well honestly I put up with a whole lot less now... I ask myself all the time... how the hell did I do it for so long?...

    the only answer I really have is that I just didn't know how to get rid of her and be absolutely sure that I'd get the kids... until my epiphany that is ;-)

    Thanks for the kind words... and yeah her diagnosis/discharge report had a couple of major inaccuracies...

    as far as the doc goes... he really couldn't help her... I don't think anyone can.. it's virtually impossible to help people that refuse to admit that they have a problem and that refuse to at least make an attempt to help themselves

  9. Since August of 2005, I have said " This story couldn't have been made up" and I still say it. That date represents a turning point for R.G., Lily, Sam, Princess, myself and Rocco like none other.

  10. I read you blog.... all over!! then i walked out of the office an into the garden for about 5 minutes. It was hard to believe this actually happened!

    I'm still perpelexed.

  11. To those on here commenting that it's hard to believe are also accurate when saying that "you couldn't make this stuff up". I believe it because I'm living it too. I'm starting into my 5th year of dealing with her nosedive into the abyss and, like RG mentioned, I've been having a terrible time trying to figure out how exactly to extract myself and my child out of the situation without there being a chance of her getting time alone with him. Waiting for my own "epiphany" I suppose, that's why I'm so eager to see the rest of this typed out. However, I live in fear too because I feel that every day I'm turning the cylinder and pulling the trigger again as I go to work and hoping that today isn't the day that she loses it and goes off. Will I come home to everyone gone? Drugged? Dead? I keep searching for that zone that gets me and my son out before anything like this happens. And it has to be a surgical strike the first time because she has threatened me in the past that if I "tried to take him away" from her, that she would take him and disappear. At the same time, if something happens before then that she would harm our child, then it would come back on me as to "why didn't you do something before now", when doing something now might mean having to turn him over to her unsupervised 50% of the time because you didn't have a case strong enough prepared by that time. So yeah, these are some strange stories and it's amazing to find out that your own neighbors might be going through this same thing. I live in a normal subdivision in the heart of the good 'ole USA and standing outside my home, you'd never know the chaos going on inside...and how a person can be trapped in their own home. I follow stories like RG's for inspiration and hope for me and my son. (where is it, RG??!!) ;-)

  12. Hey Erin... you forgot about Daisy... and not to mention the "other side" ;-)... but actually their turning point came a little later

    And... dark angel... it's nuckin' futs... I know... I still catch myself shakin' my head and thinkin' WTF!

  13. Hey there David... I feel for ya brutha'...

    I remember those fears and feelings that you describe all too well... I still have some of them especially when the the subject of unsupervised overnight visitation comes up.

    Damn... I gotta' lotta' peeps waitin' to hear my simple little epiphany huh?... Alright... I promise... It will be in the next post no matter how long it gets... and I'll try to post it this weekend ;-)

    I hope I don't disappoint...

  14. I find reading your blog is like passing a car wreck. I don't WANT to be interested in something so disastrous- but I AM :-)

  15. Hey Brazen... very interesting analogy... you rubber-necker you... ;-)... lol

  16. It reminds of me of that movie Casino, have you ever seen that movie. Cruella sounds just as crazy as Sharon Stone was in that movie. Marriage sounds horrible from what Ive read. Good thing Im waiting. Phew, dodged a bullet there, for now. Buzz Buzz.

  17. What's up fly boy... thanks for buzzin' through... yeah love that movie... Cruella makes Stone's character look like a choir girl... lol

  18. Oh God... This is more like a novel than real life. You sure are one helluva writer with seriously intense subject matter. It's like I see it as it's happening!

    Anyway. Wrote a personal thank-you for the bestowance of Arte Y Pico and thought you might like to see it. :)

  19. Thanks sooo much samsara... that's very sweet of you :-)

    Wow... 4 times huh ... you deserve it! :-D

  20. Due to my similar situation, I'm curious about a couple things with your story. I believe you mention paying some kind of spousal support to her. I'm wondering how this works, since she should be paying you child support, why should you have to turn around and give the money back to her? How was the amount figured?

    Also, she had supervised visitation, but now has unsupervised. How did she do this? What did she have to do to have it changed? One of my biggest fears of splitting with my wife would be her getting unsupervised visitation with our son. This would be very, very bad. Were there any goals set up she had to achieve to get unsupervised or what?

    thanks for your input

  21. Yeah... you would think that she would be paying child support... but she's not! And yup... I have to pay her maintenance @ $150.00 per week for 3 1/2 years... which adds up to $27,000.00... That's in addition to the spousal support @ $200.00 per week that I was ordered to pay her while we were battling it out in court(I haven't even added that up) and I'm actually one of the lucky ones (as sick as that sounds)that didn't get stuck paying for her legal fees. Shit my own were up over $50,000.00

    I basically went broke through this whole ordeal... The case never made it to trial and we eventually settled after almost three years of bullshit.

    The court doesn't really care about right and wrong... In terms of finances... they look at both parties income and also their potential and ability to earn an income... therefore the fact that she never worked while we were together... hasn't been able to hold down a job for more than 3 months since we split and had an income of $9,100.00 per yr. at the time we settled... for all intents and purposes got her a free ride. After her maintenance period ends, she will be responsible to pay child support on anything she earns over and above $9,100.00 a year... like that will ever happen!

    In terms of unsupervised visitation... it's gonna happen dude... so prepare yourself and the kids for it if and when you ever make your move.

    Typically supervised visits that go well... meaning she doesn't hurt anyone and behaves appropriately for about three months is all it takes to get unsupervised... There are some other requirements that you can get thrown in there regarding maintaining sobriety... therapy... medications... etc.... Cruella was supervised for 18 months which is pretty much unheard of and thankfully still can't keep them overnight... but that's gonna end too.

  22. How discouraging. I don't make a ton of money, so the numbers you have up there would absolutely destroy me. I wouldn't have anything left to live on, much less make a positive life for me and my son. My wife has not really been aggressively mean ever through this, she's just emotionally disconnected from us for the most part, and negligent in child care, personal hygiene, and housekeeping. She worked the first few years we were married, but is now on disability. I might be able to get her to agree to some things if we were to try to split, but twisting her arm on this visitation stuff would likely not go over well. It's not so much that she feels a need to have him around a lot, I think it's just a thing that she's not happy with the good relationship I have with him and doesn't understand how she's made her own bed with this. I don't have enough money to "buy her off" in that regard. And him being alone with her wherever she would live would not be good, as she is a slob, leaves open bottles of pills sitting out, or drops pills on the floor and doesn't pick them up. Sleeps all the time and is doped up on her psych meds or pain meds most of the time. My big concern is that even if I decide to weather through all of this to stay close to my son, she could pull the trigger at any time and I'd still be just as bad off. What's a person to do? I read these stories and have yet to see one come out anywhere near decent for the father. what a bummer...


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