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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

How It All Began

How It All Began.....

I have been asked many times over the years; “How did you wind up with such a psycho?” “Didn’t you realize that something was wrong?” “Why the hell did you marry her?” And; “Why didn’t you get out sooner?” Well; here it is, the good the bad and the ugly….

I was introduced to Cruella in 1994 by my best friend Buddy’s secretary Dipsy. Dipsy’s son went to kindergarten with Cruella’s son Snake. I was “on the rebound” from what I thought at the time was the worst relationship that I had ever or would ever have. Oh Boy was I mistaken! Cruella told me horror stories about how she was abused by her ex-husband Rocco and how he could only see their kids through a supervised visitation program. She had two little children; Snake was 5 years old and Lilly was 3. She told me that she had to have Rocco removed from the house by police after he punched her in the stomach while she was pregnant with Lilly. Cruella shared a house with her brother Luke and his wife Mary. Cruella and the kids lived upstairs and Luke and Mary lived downstairs. The house was owned by her parents, Lucifer and Big Cruella. Cruella told me about how her parents helped her out so much through her divorce that they were allowing her and the kids to live in the house rent free so she didn’t have to work while going to school to become a hairdresser. Cruella was very attractive back then and I fell for all this crap “hook, line and sinker.”

During the next few months I did notice some odd behavior and mood swings along with what appeared to be a definite insecurity complex which I wrote off to be the effects of the abuse she suffered and the stress of having to raise two young children on her own. She also told me that Rocco was taking her back to court for custody of her kids. Before I got a chance to figure out what was really going on and just how disturbed she really was, it was too late. Five months after we met, Cruella was pregnant. I did what I felt was the honorable thing and took responsibility my unborn child, for her and her two children. I rented a three bedroom townhouse and moved them all in. As the months went by the mood swings got worse. She began accusing me of things that I did not do. She believed that I was cheating on her and that I was lying to her about where I had been all day when I was supposed to be at work. She would come back to reality and tell me that she was just overwhelmed, that she was pregnant and hormonal and that if we got married she would feel much more secure in our relationship. Her family “backed her up”, making excuses for her behavior and praising me for what a wonderful man that I was. It’s ironic how it was Big Cruella that “let the cat out of the bag” when she told me that things would get better once Cruella and Rocco’s divorce was final. So no; Rocco wasn’t just taking her back to court for custody, he had just filed for divorce shortly after Cruella and I had met. When I confronted Cruella with this, she told me that she never said that they were actually divorced already and the only reason why they weren’t was because she couldn’t afford to file. I was just beginning to get a small glimpse into the world of chaos that was going to overtake my life.


They say that hind sight is always 20/20 and sometimes I do look back and think, I should have ran for the hills back then, however I foolishly believed that I could help Cruella. I couldn’t walk out on my unborn child and if I did. I would not have my other two beautiful children today.

Everything happens for a reason….Right?

Signed, Regular Guy


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